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The Day After, ‘Twas

Wednesday, December 17, 2014 11:24 p.m.

Clement Clarke Moore wrote the poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas” in 1822. With the poem being read around the tree this year, here’s my version.

Some sage advice on my birthday

Wednesday, December 17, 2014 11:26 p.m.

My birthday was last week, and it’s astonishing that I’ve survived 54 years on this planet relatively unscathed. I say “relatively” because I’ve had my heart broken (by a human) and my skull cracked (by a horse).

Catching Santa in the act ...

Sunday, December 14, 2014 11:42 p.m.

In addition to my rampant ADD, I was an obsessive child.

Black Friday? I just don’t get it

Sunday, December 14, 2014 11:41 p.m.

Deck the halls with boughs of crazy, tra la la la la la la la!

Deconstructing Rudolph ...

Thursday, December 4, 2014 12:08 a.m.

Christmas songs have always bothered me.

Hospital adventures

Thursday, December 4, 2014 12:07 a.m.

If you live long enough, you’ll eventually spend more time in hospitals than you’d like to, either as a patient or waiting on a patient. Neither role is a lot of fun.

A list for Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 27, 2014 12:10 a.m.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I hope you have much to be grateful for. (Tip: If you have loved ones, shelter and food, you have much to be grateful for.)

I can’t ‘Shake Off’ these songs

Thursday, November 27, 2014 12:09 a.m.

There are songs out there that I really hate.

Is it hot in here?

Thursday, November 20, 2014 12:39 a.m.

I am hormonal. You have been warned.

The write stuff ...

Thursday, November 20, 2014 12:38 a.m.

By the time many of you read this, I’ll be almost there, winding the clubhouse turn and heading down the home stretch.

Don’t be THAT parent! UPDATED

Friday, November 14, 2014 2:47 p.m.

Every day I wake up and ask, “Lord, how can I serve You today?” Sometimes I don’t get a clear answer. (Which is on me, not Him.) Other days, I help at the church food bank, or visit a sick friend. Or, I refrain from giving the stink-eye to a screaming toddler.

A novel concept ...

Friday, November 14, 2014 2:48 p.m.

I’m going to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

I love this month

Thursday, November 6, 2014 1:46 p.m.

Forgive me that I’m playing some vintage Scorpions as I write this. Call it mood music if you will.

Need a raccoon?

Thursday, November 6, 2014 1:47 p.m.

I’ve never been wildly popular (old high school classmates always say, “You graduated when?”) but our home, Crazy Acres, is a popular place to be. At least for wild critters.

A colonoscopy to remember

Thursday, October 30, 2014 12:22 a.m.

Sweet reader, today’s column contains TMI about a medical procedure. So if you are squeamish or easily offended, turn the page. I don’t mind, really. I have a weak stomach myself.

Memories of trick-or-treating

Thursday, October 30, 2014 12:22 a.m.

As a kid, Halloween kicked off my favorite two months of the year. It began with a night of trick or treating and ended with Christmas Eve, the one night of the year where I gave in to gluttony and could eat whatever, and however much, I wanted.

Scary stuff

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 2:07 p.m.

You know this is how The Walking Dead started.

Pass the okra!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 2:08 p.m.

Southerners do make headlines, don’t we? Sometimes we hear some piece of news and immediately know it happened south of the Mason-Dixon Line. We just KNOW, the same way we know it’s going to rain if we wash the car.

Thoughts on punishment

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 11:51 a.m.

The “corporal punishment” debate blew up last month when Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was indicted after allegedly beating his four-year-old “with a tree branch,” leaving welts and abrasions on the boy’s body.

Anti-obesity starts with exercise

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 11:50 a.m.

A story in the Sept. 29 issue of USA Today said that soda makers like Coke and Pepsi cared about the obese state of this country.

Time keeps on ticking...

Thursday, October 2, 2014 12:47 p.m.

I wrote something a few weeks back about a new watch called simply SLOW. The manufacturers took off the longer minute hand and left you with the shorter, and more slowly moving hour hand.

The ramblings of JS

Thursday, October 2, 2014 12:47 p.m.

My mind is all over the place lately. I blame it on hormone shifts but the less we talk about that, the better.

Lois is in trouble! UPDATED

Thursday, September 11, 2014 11:33 a.m.

I found two cool shirts on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart.

Cloudy memories UPDATED

Thursday, September 11, 2014 11:32 a.m.

Remember when it was fun to fly the friendly skies? Back when flight attendants were called stewardesses, traveling by airplane was special. Meals were served and the cabin crew was glad to see you. Passengers dressed up, there was plenty of seat room and screaming babies were strapped to the wing. (Just checking to see if you were paying …

Signs, signs everwhere ... UPDATED

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 12:19 p.m.

I’ve been paying a lot of attention to advertising signs and billboards while on the road lately. I don’t text and drive during my frequent travels, but I do take the occasional peek at the signs along the way.

Weird, wild stuff UPDATED

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 12:09 p.m.

Once you’re in the news business, you’re never really out of the news business. Which is why I’m still obsessed with the news business.

I want a clock with a slow hand

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 2:55 p.m.

I was lamenting time’s passage the other day in a Facebook post, about how a person seems to have all the time in the world when he has nothing to look forward to, but the moment you find someone you really like and would love to spend all your time with, somebody upstairs hits the fast forward button and before you know it, your time’s up, she’s …

What is your quirk?

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 2:55 p.m.

Isn’t it funny how we obsess over the little things?

At least I’ve never been skunked

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 6:40 a.m.

I’m clumsy. Awkward. A klutz. Always have been.

I am not a handyman

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 6:41 a.m.

It is well documented that I am not a handyman.

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