Tuesday, September 27, 2011
God bless America, land of the “say WHAT?” news story. Every day I scan CNN, MSNBC, The Washington Post and several local papers. I like to know what’s going on out there… and there’s always plenty going on.
? In college academia, the prevailing motto is “Publish or perish.” One wonders what the outcome will be after officials failed to publish word that a professor had perished.
On Sept. 13, students were waiting for Henry Teune to teach a political science class at the University of Pennsylvania. Mr. Teune did not appear. An hour after the class was supposed to start, an administrator notified students by email that Teune, 75, had died…. in April.
The email said: "We are sorry for this last minute cancellation. With Dr. Henry Teune’s passing, this course should have been cancelled over the summer and was an oversight."
Really? Forgetting to buy a gallon of mustard at Costco is an oversight. Failing to cancel a class five months after the teacher—who’d taught there since 1961—passed away is inexcusable. Think they’ll remember to give out diplomas?
? PETA is planning a porn site to advance its agenda of a vegan, cruelty-free world in which no chicken ever gets madder than a wet hen. (But I’m still mad that they forced Mepkin Abbey monks to stop their egg-selling sideline; those were some good eggs.)
To recap: According to MSNBC, PETA spokeswoman Lindsay Rajt announced last week that the nonprofit (based in Norfolk, Va.) has applied to launch the website “peta.xxx.”
Rajt said the site—to include “graphic videos and photographs”—won’t be up ‘til November, at the earliest. She said it will allow PETA to reach a broader audience… and shrewdly noted that publicity about the site is as important as the site itself.
I’ll buy that. We’ve all seen PETA’s “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” campaign, wherein nude female celebs stare seductively into the camera thinking, one presumes, of fuzzy baby seals.
But porn = PETA? Bring on the crazy. That makes as much sense as me watching a subtitled Spanish movie and at the end, expecting to A) speak Spanish and B) be a gorgeous Latina. Life doesn’t work that way.
? Two Denver men are in a heap o’ hot water after a “Weekend at Bernie’s” caper. When Robert Young and Mark Robinson found their pal Jeffrey Jarrett dead at home, they managed to put aside their grief and shock long enough to load him into an SUV and hit the clubs.
After using his debit card to pay for a few rounds—while he stubbornly remained dead in the car—they drove Jarrett home and tucked him into bed. Then they went out for Mexican and made it rain at a strip club, also on Jarrett’s dime.
Finally, they flagged down a cop and said, in essence, “Ummm, back at the house? Our friend is dead, or at least strangely stiff.”
They were charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation. Both are free on bond.
Now, for all we know, these guys had an agreement: “If you ever come in and I’m dead, let’s party!” For the record, I have no such agreement with any of my friends.
They have to clear my computer history first.
Julie R. Smith, who’s been trying to learn Spanish for two years, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org .