Inklings: Did he really say that? | Columnists | Summerville Journal Scene

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Inklings: Did he really say that?

Published Thursday, February 11, 2010 12:15 PM

By Barbara Lynch Hill
Summerville Journal Scene ®

Kids do say the darndest things . . . and in Sunday School too

I have an anonymous friend. Oh I know who he is. This prominent person just doesn’t want others to know he shoots me emails which I sometimes use as the basis for columns. He’s a great resource, undercover or not. I’ve decided that if Woodward and Bernstein could have their scintillating Deep Throat in their explorations; I can have my quirky High Flyer. Here’s a contribution from him re kids in Sunday School. As I have six grands, from 14 months to 16 years, I can appreciate these fervent recountings. Hope you can too.

In talking about Lot’s wife, the Sunday School teacher was describing how this woman looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

In another class the teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”

“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms?”

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. “Well, mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”

“Now, Joey, is that what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked. “Well, no mom. But if I told it the way she did, you’d never believe it.”

The preacher’s five-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day she asked him why. “Well honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”

“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?”

The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

And finally, another Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t remember that psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

Amen!

Kids say the darndest things, as quoted by 1950s TV star Art Linkletter in his television series and in books. (Linkletter, at last tally is 97 years young, perhaps aided by his unabiding promotion of children’s humor.) But he’s correct: kids get right to the heart of the matter – and in saying the darndest things, they say the truest!”

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