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Smith Says

Published Tuesday, June 15, 2010 2:32 PM

By Julie R. Smith
Summerville Journal Scene ®

As everyone knows by now, Al and Tipper Gore have separated after 40 years of marriage. And the question on everyone’s lips (okay, mine) is: Why? After 40 years, four kids and grandkids, what could be so bad you can’t live with it another day?

I have my theories. (I always have my theories.) Saying Al is a tad uptight is like saying Joe Friday was somewhat deadpan, but Tipper has always seemed pretty hip.?She had a feud with Frank Zappa when she fought to put warning labels on albums with “adult” lyrics, but after his death she became friends with his widow, Gail, and played drums on his daughter Diva’s album. That’s cool.

Tipper also hosted Halloween parties at the vice-presidential mansion: One year she dressed as a puppy, and Al was Underdog. That still strikes me as hilarious.

Insiders insist there’s no affair on either side; they simply grew apart. Say what? Tomatoes grow apart. People just get sick of each other.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been divorced. Ignoring the fact that we learned we were related five days before the wedding, by the statistics we should have made it: Our parents didn’t divorce; we held degrees, good jobs and the same views on religion. We didn’t argue about money because we never had any.

He was a decent man, but the wrong man. And Lord, did he marry the wrong woman. I chattered nonstop and went to art galleries, he was silent as a tomb and went to NASCAR races. By the end all we had in common was the dog, which he also left. Now we’re both re-married and happy, according to our Facebook profiles. (He now rides a Harley and I have goats. Still not a thing in common.)

We had no children. Maybe we’d still be together if we had. Or not. Maybe, telegenic kids notwithstanding, Tipper Gore had all she could stand. Or maybe Al looked at her one day and said, “Your carbon footprint is too big. Farewell, ma cherie.”

They supposedly fell in love at his high school prom. Maybe that’s the last time he danced with her. They married in May, 1970 at the Washington National Cathedral, which is about as married as you can get.

He served his country in Vietnam. She took photos, had their children and played the aforementioned drums. And four decades later, they parted. (Which doesn’t mean the marriage failed, by the way. Ending is not the same as failing.) ?Did Al prefer Hellman’s over Miracle Whip? Did he cook Memphis dry-rub ribs instead of sauced Boston butts? Did Tipper never get over not being First Lady? Or did she happen to mention that a 10,000 square-foot estate in Montecito didn’t exactly enhance Al’s green image?

In the past 10 years, Al Gore won a Nobel Prize, an Oscar and an Emmy for his work on the environment. He can farm, cook and build a barn. He also claims to have invented the Internet and been the inspiration for the hero in “Love Story.” I imagine all that could be a bit hard to live with.

Or maybe she snores and he wants to go vegan and they’re just done. Maybe they really are parting as friends. Who can argue with that?

Julie R. Smith, who can argue about anything, can be reached at widdleswife@aol.com.

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