Others may recognize the name as Mah Jongg, the Chinese game. But as in any tribe, we have our own language along with other means of communicating, such as the double-tapping of a discarded tile or the roaring of a blender that points the way to Sheila’s house.
There are about ten members of our tribe, eight of whom comprise the core and two -sometimes three – others who step in when called to duty. These auxiliary members are essential in keeping up the tribe morale and are usually present to offer the appetizer or bottle of wine necessary to complete the tasks required of May Hong.
May Hong is never without appetizers and wine. We gather in the tribal tradition of providing each other with food and protection from threats of the world outside. Threats such as demanding children, exhausting workloads, and husbands who need us to show them where the kids keep their pajamas. Be gone, outside threats - May Hong has warned you…
Tribal loyalty is fierce, and any action that would promote the wellbeing of a member’s offspring is done quickly, reflexively, but not without genuine love for that member and her family. Likewise, joys and tragedies are acknowledged with gifts from the tribe, reminders that the member in celebration or mourning is a valued part of the group.
We meet cyclically and without fail. Sometimes a member is sick or has another obligation, but absences are usually due only to medical situations or inevitable travel plans. The tribal customs of our gatherings include first entering the hostess’ home without the middle-man of a knock or doorbell, then locating a beverage and converging in the kitchen to await the arrival of the entire group.
Next a meal is shared, followed by the setting of the game tables. Tiles are stacked, cards are displayed, and coasters mark where people will be sitting for the next hour or so. Finally the dice are rolled, and it’s time to see who will be the Alpha members for that night.
The tribe is not without structure, and members have fallen into natural roles that ensure its survival. Susie is the leader, communicating the dates and locations of each gathering and creating a schedule that perpetuates the tribe throughout each calendar year. Molly and Melanie are impeccable hostesses, and no one eats for days in preparation of the feasts they prepare when it is their turn to provide for the group. Kristin is also a superior cook and entertainer, while Sheila can be counted on for margaritas, and Hope for sangria and quiet kitchen cleanup. Lynn stays the latest and laughs the hardest, and Lauren reminds us how to play the game that, after six years, we still don’t understand. Greer and Mandy drop in, awing us with their beauty and reminding us of our youth. And I order the cards. When I remember.
We may falter and make mistakes, but to that we simply avert our gaze.
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