Effective Parenting: Problems Aren’t All Bad! | Education | Summerville Journal Scene

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Effective Parenting: Problems Aren’t All Bad!

Published Tuesday, March 09, 2010 11:33 AM

Summerville Journal Scene ®

Editor’s Note: The following is part of a continuing series on parenting provided by the Dorchester Children’s Center.)

Ever wonder what distinguishes healthy, happy families from those that flounder in endless frustration and turmoil, like in some TV shows? Well, it isn’t the presence of absence of problems if that’s what you’re thinking. The fact is that all families have problems. The difference is that some families handle those problems effectively while others often resemble the Simpsons, blundering from one episode to another.

Another fact is that problems offer parents wonderful opportunities for teaching children qualities such as conflict resolution, negotiation, and of course, problem solving. And since our purpose as parents is defined as is to instill these and other qualities and skills that will enable our kids to survive in our modern democratic society, problems are truly opportunities for learning. Without them (and the motivation they provide), we might just sit around watching reruns of old sitcoms all day.

Activity:

A little boy was leading his younger brother up a mountain path to get a view from the top when the trail suddenly turned steep and bumpy. “How are we going to hike up this?” asked the little brother in dismay, “It’s all covered with bumps.” The big brother took his little brother’s hand and calmly explained, “The bumps are what we walk on.” True, the two brothers were never heard from again, but that’s not the point. The point is that the bumps in life are our opportunities, so this week, find the problems that you want to work on in your family. And if your two kids take off hiking up a steep mountain without an adult, group their little behinds for a month!

As you observe your family this week, write down some of the problems that you see as opportunities for teaching your children useful life lessons. It may be helpful to make a chart with two columns on a sheet of paper. Label one column “Problem” and the other column “Qualities and Skills to be Taught”. Record the problems and qualities to be taught on this sheet of paper.

Adapted from Dr. Michael Popkin’s book entitled Doc Pop’s 52 Weeks of Active Parenting.

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